Random thought about cows

My mind works in mysterious ways.  Don't ask me how I thought about this but... the other day I had a thought about cows... and how I bet the last 250 generations of cows have all been murdered.  So I made a small family tree.  Now just imagine this family tree multiplied by 200 times. It's messed up. Don't get too hung up on the accuracy of the family tree.  I realize it's very incestuous, whatever... I drew it in ten seconds not even looking at a cow for inspiration.  You get the idea.  It's a sad time for cows but they are oh so delicious.  Billions and Billions served.oh but that one survived... she became the head of laughing cow. The cow next to her was the spokesman for chik-fil-a.  murdered too

A funny thing happened on the way to...

Alright, Irene turned out to be nothing more than a little bitch, but apparently my parents lost their power during the hurricane, if you can even call that a hurricane, and the power won't be restored til September 4th. So I get a phone call from my mom around 4 o'clock in the afternoon yesterday asking if she can come over to charge her cellphone. I thought it was a little weird that she felt it was absolutely necessary to have her cellphone charged but no big deal, we planned on making some dinner and hanging out while her phone charged. She left a couple hours later, and half heartedly asked if she could stay over. I said she could, but for whatever reason she felt like she was imposing. So now the funny parts. She wanted to watch some local news since she hadn't seen much of the coverage. I tuned to the local Collingswood station which was broadcasting the local high school sports recap. Basically sports highlights from all the spring sports produced by students and set to music. Now I was busy doing laundry and she was just hanging out, knitting and watching the sports highlights in the background. A song comes on, and my mom is like "This is Taio Cruz ... did you know he is British?" I was like "how the hell do you know who this is, much less know that he is British?"..."oh he was on Good Morning America last week." wtf.
A few songs later she's like "Do you know the name of this Lady Gaga song?" I was like Who are you? and what did you do with my mom? She apparently was on Good Morning America last week too. What was it, clubbing week on GMA?
Anyway, after those antics, my dad called me around 9pm. Now my dad never calls me. Never emails me either. He calls me maybe once or twice a year; Usually to ask me if I stole one of his ties. Anyway, he calls and explains that he doesn't have power and he's got stuff in the fridge yadda yadda yadda. Asks me if he can stay with me. I say sure. Now I'm not really sure why he waited til 9pm to ask me but...I figure at that point you might as well just go to sleep. You don't need power to go to sleep. Anyway he comes over around quarter to ten and brings the dog. The food that he brought to save was....wait for it....popsicles! Can't waste those popsicles. Sits down on the couch, makes some small talk and asks me where he is going to sleep. Now, I only have a two bedroom house, so naturally I told him the back bedroom. He says "where is that?" Seriously? I mean, I know he doesn't come over often but. "What do you mean where is it? It's in the back...at the top of the stairs." I really wanted to tell him it was on the third floor.. top of the stairs make a right, sixth door down on the left, but I know he'd wake me up later and ask where the second flight of stairs is. Wtf. I do love my family though. I just don't understand them sometimes.

The Holidays

I was reading an article a few weeks ago in the paper about single people and holidays. The writer was a thirty-something woman who was lamenting about how hard it was to be single during the holidays and how relatives and family would inevitably question why she was single, or when she was going to bring someone home for the holidays and so on. I mean, I can see how that could be annoying. I've been in that same situation many times myself. Almost every Christmas of my life now that I think of it. But, I was never embarrassed or ashamed of myself. I'd just tell them I was looking.

To me, the far more awkward and uncomfortable thing is actually having a "sorta" girlfriend during the holidays. Like you've dated a couple months, but the verdict is still out on her. You kinda like her but not enough to get a million questions asked about your relationship during Christmas from the aunt and uncle you only see a few times a year. And you aren't sure if you want to subject her to your family's interrogation tactics, temper tantrums and holiday blow ups...or if you are like me, after a holiday dinner, you kinda just want to fall asleep somewhere and not socialize with the random family friends that someone invited in the final hour unbeknownst to you.

And that's just the half of it. It's all awkward between you and the girl. Do I go to her house? Do I ask her to come to my house? Do I have to tell my mom I am not going to be with our family this year because I am going to go to this girls house that she doesn't even know about that I only really started hanging out with two months ago? Do I really want to meet this girls family yet? Does she even want to meet my family? If we don't go to each others family's house and do our own thing, does she think that I don't like her?

I'd much rather deflect the "me being single" conversation, than have to deal with the "so this is your giiiiirrrllfrrrieeeenddd?"(cue the sarcastic voice) conversation all night long... and maybe even into the next holiday. "What happened to that girl you were dating last Christmas?...she was so cute?" "oh her, I don't know. She dumped me. And that was two years ago by the way."