Friday, August 30, 2013

No Questions Asked

My bike was stolen off my front porch yesterday along with two of my neighbors bikes.  Pretty ballsy to steal something off my front porch, especially when a lot of my neighbors are home all day everyday. But I have a feeling I know who it was.  I've felt like my house was being staked out a few days ago by some thug kids. By thug kids I mean kids in their early twenties with no jobs.  I want to post some "Stolen bike" signs around my neighborhood and post a reward... no questions asked. Then first thing I would do if someone came forward to return it is ask them why they stole it.  I'd be like, i was kidding about the no questions asked part.... and the reward part.  And then punchasize their face... for free.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Supermarket shopping

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I love supermarket shopping.  I love to eat, and a store that is full of food is right up my alley.  All the possibilities! I have to admit though that I kinda hate Wegman's.  Sure it has quality food, and the cheese selection is great and their seafood is better than other supermarkets.  But I can't stand their aisle arrangement. It takes me twice as long to find the things I usually buy. For one, it's not laid out logically like a normal supermarket with like things near each other, or things that complement each other next to each other. Like they have peanut butter and jelly listed on the aisle markers. They shouldn't do that.  The aisle markers should only be for categories, such as Condiments.  Peanut butter and jelly needs to be with all the other condiments like ketchup, and mustard, or they should have some near the bread aisle. Good luck finding anything.
Anyway, I am getting tired of the "foodie" culture.  The other day I went to Talula's Garden in the city.  It's a fancy-schmantzy place on Washington Square that serves great local fare. I was just really put off by all the food stories the waitress was telling us, like "this cheese is locally sourced from free range cows in lancaster county where the farmer milks his own cows and goats and they are hormone free, and we get them once a week by a little old amish guy"  But every cheese had a story.  I was waiting for her to tell me that the "cheese had a good time on it's way here, and likes nothing more to be spread onto bread gently by a tiny cheese knife, and just can't wait to be eaten."
But going back to the point, I saw this in the bagel aisle and was put off by it. "Ancient grain?" ancient grain my ass. I wanted to ask how old it was.  Is that in bagel years? Aren't all grains pretty ancient? As far as I know, my ancestors were eating all sorts of grains 3,000 years ago. Just because you were eating Wonder Bread up until 3 years ago doesn't mean I was.