Thursday, January 28, 2010

I hate it when, but I love it when....

Unfortunately I have a Starbucks addiction. It's actually more of a coffee addiction, but the Starbucks being across the street from my office doesn't help. Sometimes I get a bagel and cream cheese to go with my delicious coffee. What I hate is those packages that the cream cheese comes in. If you don't tear it open just right, the cream cheese will squirt out and curl in every direction but on the bagel, leaving half the cream cheese on the package, and the other half all over my knuckles. Same goes for those soy sauce packages. You tear them open incorrectly and the soy sauce goes everywhere but where you want it; Namely on your shirt sleeves. But today I conquered that cream cheese packet...the cheese landed right on the bagel where it's supposed to.

Monday, January 25, 2010

fun size?

You know when Halloween comes around you are going to buy those fun size candies. All your favorite candy bars come in bite sized pieces. Since when did we institute "fun"as a unit of measure? Imagine using that in everyday job type speech. I could tell the contractors, "yeah, the reveal is about a fun size" or "the joists are spaced 26 fun sizes." Those are terrible examples by the way. But did you ever notice that whenever someone buys a bag of fun size candies there's Krackel, Mr. Goodbar and regular Hershey's milk chocolate, and everybody always goes for the Krackel or Mr. Goodbar first? But in real life, no one ever craves a Krackel or a Mr. Goodbar. Come to think of it, I have only ever seen them in that fun size bag.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Words or phrases that I'd like to bring back.

It occurred to me recently that there are old fashioned words that people just don't use anymore but are pretty cool terms when you don't hear them so much. For example someone called me "kind" the other day.Which I just thought was funny. Kind? I am kind? Kind belongs in a children's story written in the 1950s. See Dick run. Dick is kind. Which made me think of "cross". So and so is as cross as a bear. I haven't heard that one since grade school, but it would be funny to use at work. "Oh man, the client called yesterday, he was very cross... I would wait a day before calling him back." Or may other favorite; "I dropped some meatballs on my new slacks." I just got my slacks back from the dry cleaners. Let's bring these words back.
So, in looking for a picture for this post, I google image searched slacks. First page I saw this creepy image and had to post it. Check out the website, it's really creepy. But I have to admit, this woman making this stuff is pretty good at making real looking doll clothes. And she uses words like slacks, so maybe we shouldn't bring the word slacks back.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Cool whips

I like the slang term for cars these days. Everyone wants to "pimp their ride", or as some like to say, ride in their "whip". But it's better to use whip in other ways. "Oh damn, did you see that whip accident on 95 yesterday? There were whips backed up for miles! It was a three whip pile up!" or "man, my sister got whip-jacked." "My whip is filthy, I'm going to the whip wash tonight after work." "This new whip has that new whip scent." I love that old Tracy Chapman song, "She's got a fast whip... speed so fast I can fly away" Oh man, I could go on and on.

Essential Oils

This was dug up from my old myspace blog, but it still perplexes me. All these fragrances and soaps and moisturizers claiming to be made from the best essential oils. I don't get it. What is an essential oil? And if they are so essential, why haven't I heard of any of these oils before? The only oil I find to be essential is olive oil... mmmm.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Not all asian foods look the same

My Asian friend Sam always wants to joke with me if I say one of her friends looks like another Asian I know. She's always gotta throw in a, "not all Asians look a-like Mike!" And she's right. But you gotta admit that a lot of Asian foods look alike. I don't really know the difference between General Tso's and orange chicken, and I am pretty sure that if you take the sesame seeds off the sesame chicken its orange chicken and General Tso's.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

ideas that would work

A few years ago I had some really good ideas that I wrote down and was determined to save somewhere and see if these ideas ever came to fruition. I am going to share a few of those today. Back when the video ipod first came out I thought it would be a good idea if they built in a projector into the actual ipod so that you could project your movies onto the seat back in front of you on the bus, have Cinema Paradiso nights on the side of some wall in a piazza (that's still my all time favorite movie by the way)etc... Just because I don't think anyone gets any real enjoyment from watching a movie on a 4 inch screen. Anything is possible. I just didn't think they'd be able to make a light powerful enough to fit into the body of an ipod without heating the ipod up so much that it would just burst into flames. But within the last week I saw that LG has come out with the new projector phone and I have heard good things about it. Granted the design of it isn't as graceful as I was thinking, the concept is the same. Trust me on this, I thought of it first and blogged about it back when I had a myspace page. Someone will be able to dig that up somehow. Another good idea I had was to put the internet on cd-rom. I know what you are thinking. The internet is way past being put on cd-rom, and who calls a cd-rom a cd-rom anymore. The thought behind this is that it would capture the internet at a moment in time and freeze it with all the pages available. It'd be like an encyclopedia yearbook. The next generation would be able to search the internet in 1996 and see what was actually available at that particular time. Say for example they are writing a paper on what was happening in the world at at that particular time, boom they load up the cd-rom for 1996 and can only see pages that were available in 1996. That way there is no rewriting of history. You would get to see exactly what the temperature of the world was at that time. Cool huh? Maybe this thing already exists but it's just on a flash drive. Some people say Flash drive, some say jump drive, junk drive, memory stick. What is it? I don't know. Speaking of ipods and apps, I thought a good app for an iphone would be a WaWa hoagie app. It would have the WaWa touch screen interface on your iphone and you could order your hoagie on the go. It would locate the nearest wawa and tap into their hoagie system. Bam, roast beef shorti, lil bit of mayo, provolone, hot peppers, salt pepper and oregano. Ah man, I have so many of these ideas. Another time.

Sunday, January 3, 2010


First of all, great picture huh? Anyhow, I recently joined a bowling league. Yeah sounds lame, but it gets me off my ass for a change; something I plan on doing more of this new year- not bowling, but getting off my ass. Today was our first day and we didn't do very well, but it's not our goal to be the champions. We're out there just having fun. One thing that's funny about bowling is that no one really knows how to keep score. At least one person kinda knows that if you get a strike in one frame and you get a strike in the next frame it makes your score a little bit higher than normal, or if you get three strikes in a row some other good scoring change happens but you don't really know how it works. Another thing I realized happens every time I go bowling is that inevitably the pins will get all jacked up and you can never figure out how to reset them, or figure out how to call the desk to correct the situation... or the computer won't count a ball and you'll never be able to figure out how to go back into the main menu to fix the score so you just throw the ball down there and kinda hope that it works itself out. Bowling ain't bad but maybe it is.