Monday, September 27, 2010

work injury

The guy who sits next to me at work (you might remember him from earlier blogs as the guy who plays the trumpet)was telling me about how he hurt his knee recently. The guy is your average mid to late forty something. He's as active as a mid forty year old gets. Likes to play soccer in a mens league. Rides bikes. You get the idea. We were talking recently and he said he had hurt his knee and had an appointment to see the doctor. So naturally I ribbed him a little saying he was getting too old to play soccer and that he needed to take it easy. The funny part is, he didn't hurt his knee playing soccer. He hurt it on a business trip. And he probably goes on one business trip a year. As architects we aren't usually put in dangerous situations. Maybe we survey an abandon building every now and then, but nothing physically demanding. He tweaked his knee at the hotel... While sleeping. The story goes that the bedsheets were tucked in too tight. He slithered in from the top and went to sleep under the covers with his feet splayed out like a "T". You see where this is going... He tried to roll over and couldn't move his feet. Pulled something in his knee. Poor guy. Alone in the dark....Covers too tight. Busted Knee.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Half a marathon

Since this is my version of Facebook, I thought I'd do what other people do on Facebook; Post a picture of myself doing something cool and hope that someone I know, but never talk to sees it, and then thinks more highly of me because of it, and then still doesn't talk to me. With that being said, my sister and I ran a half marathon this past weekend. Considering I hadn't really altered my lifestyle all that much besides the running part, I was pretty proud of myself. I was still able to drink about 6-9 beers, three or four nights a week right up to the day of the race. No pre race routine. In fact, I think I performed better if I got drunk the night before a run. Needless to say, I ran the race (13.1 miles) in two hours and four minutes averaging nine and a half minute miles. Not bad for a first timer.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Garage Sales

Garage sales are awesome. But there's that moment when you realize you aren't interested in buying anything they've got and you feel kinda bad about it. The person sits there quietly as you judge their entire life. Old suitcase, teapots, figurines, toys with missing pieces. They embarrassingly lay out their last thirty years on a small patchwork of borrowed folding tables and old bedsheets as they watch you - in thirty seconds- come to the conclusion, that "These people are weird, and of this stuff is shit." I'm just going to quietly meander over the edge of the neighbors yard.... and quickly make my exit.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Things I can't avoid

Whenever I see an armored car parked somewhere, I immediately think heist and burglars. And I always kinda look to see where the flaws in their systems are. Like, "that guy is totally not paying attention," or "a gun can definitely fit in that little door hole."
Or if I see a stranger take the escalator, I'll take the stairs on purpose and race them to the top without them knowing they're in a race. Just trying to prove a point. But I'll act all cool and nonchalant like "oh yeah, that was my normal stair climbing speed.... just a little faster than the escalator. You should try it sometime." Just doing my part to fight diabetes.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Morbid thoughts

On my daily walk home from work, I pass a funeral home. And every time I pass by the funeral home, I notice a metal upside down overflow grate in the sidewalk sticking up. I always think to myself "man, I should really flip that over so no one trips on it" but I never flip it over. Then I wondered if the funeral home does this on purpose. I wondered if they secretly hoped that someone would trip and break their neck and die and contact them to have their funeral. Instant business. I am pretty sure no one can die by falling from this tiny grate, so I wasn't thinking too seriously about it. Then I was thinking how everyone wants to talk about the economy and how tough things are, and started to think about what that conversation would be like with a funeral director. I am pretty sure their business is pretty steady. Maybe the conversation is like "people aren't spending money on funerals these days. People want half as much embalming fluid and less makeup. They buy the tin coffin not the mahogany." But I wondered if they were ever hoping for a serious catastrophe. Like a bus full of senior citizens crashing on the way to the casinos. An uptick in business. Or do they just hope for steady business and no catastrophes? Or do they say stupid trivial things like "people are living a lot longer these days."

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


Like most men my age, I only own one suit. A black suit, pretty much suitable for every occasion warranting wearing a suit. Suits are remarkable, I have found that I can wear a suit, throw it on the floor when I am finished with it, hang it up, and in 5 months when I need to wear it again, it looks as good as new, completely wrinkle free and pressed. It's always an adventure trying to fit into the suit. It's got that clasp/button combo that I usually can't button and my belt just holds the ensemble together. This time, a different story. Fit into that sucker like it was senior year of high school.
But the funny thing about my suit is that it's like going back in time. I reach into the pockets and it's like three weddings and a few funeral. Funeral card, funeral card, napkin, beer cap beer cap.