Monday, November 22, 2010

Man, I feel like a man.

I don't have anything exceptionally funny to report, but that shouldn't be any different than usual. I just had a good weekend for a change. My TV is paid off, made some cash painting another neighbor's porch, so I finally had a weekend for myself for a change. Took the day off on Friday, went fishing with my buddy Kirb and caught a bunch of beasts. Saturday had some friends over, watched some football and ate some homemade meatball sandwiches. Went to a buddy and his girlfriend's apartment warming party in the city, Sunday played golf with my Pops and played pretty well, met Donald Trump. Had the whole family over for some fish dinner... Good weekend. Made me feel like a man doing man things, drinking beer, and providing for my family. Not really my own family, just felt good to be a provider...and a man. I mean will you look at that f-in fish?!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


I saw a pickup truck the other day with a "Git er done" decal on the back window. Nothing wrong with being a little redneck every once in awhile. I started to think about what that guy must be like. Woke up one morning and told his wife, "well, I've got a lot of things to do today, but first thing on my list...I'm gonna go down to the Pep Boys and get that "git er done" decal on my truck taken care of finally..." Musta felt pretty good about himself when he checked that off the ol' list. BOOM! DONE!

Bananas and String Cheese

I was thinking about bananas and string cheese recently. Not that I would eat them together necessarily. I was thinking of them on separate occasions. You know how you can eat a bad apple? Like, you take a bite thinking it will be all crisp and juicy and it winds up just being mealy and gross. Or you eat an orange thinking it will taste like an orange but it really is a juiceless pulpy disappointment. But bananas pretty much all taste the same. You can have an over ripe banana and a not-yet-ripe banana, but if it's in the sweet spot, it's pretty much a consistent fruit. Think about it.
And my thoughts on string cheese are as follows; It's only really good if it's very finely stringed. You can't really ever enjoy a string cheese fully. It's either perfectly stringy and you like it, but you wish there was three times as much of it, or you get greedy, and try take a bite of it, and a chunk of it just isn't the same as it being stringy. My thoughts would be to sell string cheese already finely pulled, but part of the appeal of string cheese is getting a really great pull yourself. Plus, shredded mozzarella cheese isn't really that good as it is by itself.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Shameless self promotion

I got a mention in one of my favorite blogs! I exist! The Brownstoner is a blog that gives the inside scoop on development/real estate/architectural happenings in Philly. A few days ago the blog called on local architects to submit a quick lunchtime sketch of what they would do with the new underground gallery space Frank Gehry is designing for the Philadelphia Museum of Art since no renderings have been released. So I did a quick 20 second sketch and submitted it. I appreciated the kudos and the sarcasm in their post. No, seriously, I did. I guess my submission was a little tongue in cheek too but either way I got some props and was proud of it. So check it out.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

DJ Clue

I have no clue who DJ Clue is... but I do know that he pretty much wrecked every one of my favorite rap anthems in college. I'd be listening to my favorite JaRule song, and then 30 seconds in I'd hear CLUE! CLUE! CLUE! Nothing worse than downloading the same song ten times and every one of them ruined by clue. I guess that's what I get when I download JaRule songs.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Shoe Policy

Shoes are a tough thing for straight guys to buy these days. Maybe I'm shopping at the wrong places, but shoes are almost as hard to buy as jeans. I've needed a new pair of shoes for work for months but haven't found anything I've liked. Some are too square others too rounded, or they're so flat that it looks like you are a hobbit. Your choices are Eurotrash dbag, ultra-conservative 60 year old banker, or high school hipster. I just wanted some regular style boots for the winter. Finally, I went to DSW where they have hundreds of bad shoes to choose from, I was bound to find one pair that was acceptable. Found it.
Now I understand the no return policy. If you wear them, you can't return them. I get it. But they need to make one exception for returns. If you wear them, walk around in them for a day, and then realize that when you walk they make fart noises. It's especially noticeable in the office. And it's not an acceptable squeak either. It sounds pretty much like farts. To me, that is a defect in the shoe and can be proven to the store clerk for a refund. It'd be a good idea not to mention to the clerk that it squeaks even more if you happen to be laughing.

Monday, November 1, 2010

the gym.... again

The gym has been a constant source of entertainment for me. Who knew it could be so fun? Believe it or not I have a new found discipline. I've been going at least 3 times a week, but admittedly it's been getting harder since it's darker and colder in the mornings. I even went after work last week but I hate going after work. It's more crowded, smells bad, and I mean really bad, unbearably bad and the last thing I want to do after work is go to the gym. (one huge dude smelled so bad, I did a whole set of exercises holding my breath. I actually had to leave after 2 exercises. It was worse than a middle school locker room after a hoagie sale.) But that's not the point. I have been thinking about this for a while now and today I solidified my thoughts on this. I went to the gym at lunch (see, I told you, I'm disciplined) to see if a lunch time routine would work for me in the winter months. Plus I just needed a change of scenery. I was getting tired of seeing the same 3 ugly people every morning. Every time I see a trainer at the gym training a woman though, I get angry. These poor vulnerable women. These dudes aren't training, they're borderline raping. "Here, now do this exercise while I stand behind you and watch. Better yet, let's go on the mat where I'll flirt with and stretch your legs in ways no stranger should ever touch you." The most unfortunate part, I think most of these women are liking it.