Thursday, February 25, 2010

Olympic Gear

Is it me, or is it a requirement that every year the Olympic clothing has to be so outrageously ugly that no sane person would ever really consider wearing it? You'd have to be a professional bobsledder to appreciate these outfits. During the opening ceremonies I like to judge each country by how ridiculous their attire is. I gotta admit, the Italians looked good this year. They're one of the few countries that can get away with wearing ridiculous outfits. They're just like "yeah, our outfit is horrendous, but hey, we are Italians, we can pull it off." I'm not a big brand guy, but I appreciate Polo clothes. Timeless, classic, and I actually think some of the US gear is pretty nice looking. I just wouldn't wear it with all the olympic stuff all over it. It's like saying you want to dress up and wear your dressiest Philadelphia Flyers sweatshirt.

Monday, February 22, 2010


I don't understand why babies are measured like fish when they are first born. You always get that office email when someone has a baby saying that the baby was 9 lbs. 10oz. and was 23 inches long. But it's never followed by, "so they threw him back." Why not say the baby was 1'-11". I don't go around saying I am 67 inches. Why change how we measure people just because they are babies? Same with age. People ask me how old my niece and nephew are so I tell them "one is a little more than three years and the other is one and a half." People want me to say how many months they are. I don't have time to figure out how many months old they are..hmmm I guess 17 months? I don't say I am 354 months. Although I should.
Speaking of babies, that new 50 Cent song... "have a baby by me, be a millionaire" What a dumbass that guy is.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

cross country skiing

I've actually been watching the olympics lately. Probably have watched more olympics in the last three days than I have in all my olympic watching life. Watched some grueling cross country skiing a few days ago and got tired just watching it. That's when it occurred to me that cross country skiing is nothing more than skiing before the chair lift was invented. Nobody likes to use the backward triangle maneuver to walk around and get yourself in line for the ski lift much less travel great flat surfaces in skis. And that's basically what cross country skiing is to me... it's all the annoying in between time spent on skis not going down a mountain. Just hobbling everyplace trying not to fall all over the place.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Ash Wednesday

The good Catholic that I am, I went to Ash Wednesday today during my lunch. It's funny how you kind of get a little stressed about going to Ash Wednesday. I don't like to wear my religion on my sleeve much less my forehead. But when you sit in the pew you are definitely wondering which priest will give you the best ash. You wonder if you want the one who is going to glob it on and make it really black or you go to the guy who is giving out the light dusting. You make sure your forehead is cleared of any head grease, you move your hair over, you take off your glasses, you try really hard not to scratch your forehead or mess it up putting on your coat. The first thing you do when you leave the chruch though is ask your friend if you got a "good ash" or you look in the reflection in the storefront glass just to make sure it's a good one. And you get a little disappointed if it doesn't resemble a cross at all and is just a big smudge. hmpf..


I've never really said "I think this orange juice has gone bad." It could be in the refrigerator for 2 months opened and I might say it's old but it always tastes the same. Same with bananas. (unfortunately I had to think of that Gwen Stefani song to remember how to spell bananas...shittt is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!) You might get a banana that isn't ripe yet or that is too ripe, but if it's in that sweet spot in between, they pretty much all taste exactly the same. It's not like an apple where it can be mealy, not juicy, not crispy. Or an orange can have no taste or be pulpy. Bananas are pretty consistent across the board. Cashews...I don't think I have ever seen a cashew in it's shell, on a tree, or in the ground. Don't really have a clue how it grows or where it grows. You'd think after eating them for the past 25 some years I would have learned that.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


This is a recycled blog from my blogging days on Myspace. My roommate reminded me of this thought while we were going out to eat at Chow's Chinese/Japanese Restaurant down the street from my house. (a most bangin' establishment if I do say so myself)Anyway, it's sad to say but I probably go there once a week and get my sushi fix. Wednesday and Sunday nights they have all you can eat sushi. It reminded me of the blog back in the day about cruises and all you can eat. I myself have never been on a cruise and they honestly don't really interest me. Maybe I would go on one just for the sake of going on one. But my understanding of them is that you just cruise around, don't really get to stop and appreciate anyplace, and just eat... as much as you can. But what I can't comprehend is how they use that as a selling point. People really fall for all you can eat. But, me on the other hand, I always eat as much as I want. No one really stops me. If I went to a restaurant and wanted to order a second dinner, I am sure they wouldn't stop me. I don't get it.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Peter Cetera

When I went to lunch today at Reading Terminal Market, we were sitting there and Peter Cetera (I used to be a big fan when I was six and Karate Kid was out) came on the radio. It wasn't his most famous song, the one that was in Karate Kid, the "I am the man who will fight for your honor" song also known as the Glory of Love. It was his other song; the, You're my Inspiration song. Two equally bad songs don't get me wrong, but in a good way. It got me thinking about the lyrics to the Glory of Love though, "I am the man who will fight for your honor." Seriously? Imagine saying that to a girl these days. "Maura, I am the man who will fight for your honor." a long awkward pause and a puzzled look....."Okay, you are a fag."
It sounds like something someone who plays Halo all week long would say to their girlfriend. "I'll use my sword I picked up when I got to level 19 on Saturday. It was between the sword or an extra life... and I chose the I could fight for your honor!" Kill me now. As an aside, admittedly I don't know shit about video games. Are there even swords in Halo?

Monday, February 1, 2010


I joined a gym last week (I know, weird right?) and I am proud to say that I've already gone three times! I just go and walk around and look at all the machines for an hour and go home. Nah, I've been easing myself back into a morning routine. Trying to lose thirty by thirty. I have a few months, so I might be able to do it. I think gyms are just funny in general. I can't go without laughing... laughing about the exercise, laughing about the really serious gym rats that are always there, the ugly woman with the good body that thinks it's because she doesn't have a good body that no man wants her. The squeezing, the grunting, the gas build ups, the guy who sqeaks out a fart while on the treadmill, and thinks no one heard it because his headphones were on. All those things are great, but I thought it was funny when the guy who was trying to sell the membership to us said "we have over 3,000 pounds of free weights" like it was some great selling point. "Oh wow, over three thousand pounds! Finally, a gym that can match my level of lifting abilities! That's great news! My last gym only had 1,500 pounds! This is a great improvement!" I would have rather heard him say, "We make sure the showers have soap in them." Yeah, it's twice now that I have gotten into the shower and realized there is no soap, and I've had to get out naked and run to another shower, squirt the soap in my hand and take it back to my shower...It's terrible.