Sunday, December 26, 2010


I think a week or so ago there was a Lunar Eclipse. I don't really see what the big deal is about eclipses. You've seen one, you've seen them all right? And is it really that exciting? First of all it takes forever, the conditions have to be almost perfect, no clouds etc, and you have to remember it's even happening. Then what? It's like you can see the phases of the moon in one night instead of over a month? Oh wow, it's a full moon! Oh wow, now it's a crescent moon!Oh wow, now it's a full moon again! But it seems like every time an eclipse happens they always say that it's not going to happen again in our lifetime, or the next one will be 70 years from now. I think I have seen at least four or five since fifth grade with the homemade sunglasses. Not that exciting.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Feels Like the First time

I've probably been thinking about this particular blog for a long time and never felt like it was the right time to write about it. But since I have no girlfriend, and no real prospects on the horizon, I think I can finally do it. I think one of the funniest, (not funny while it's happening) moments in a new relationship is that first time you spend the night at a girl's house. Regardless of all the stress that goes along with that situation; the awkward moment when you realize it's a possibility to stay over, the awkward moment when you try to determine what is, and what isn't acceptable behavior in terms of what is an acceptable level of undress, etc etc. The list goes on. We've all been there, all done that. Well, hopefully we've all been there and done that. It's an important part of growing up. But on top of all that, the next morning is when the really embarrassing part happens. All the rest is normal stuff. But the embarrassing part is that I have my routine in the morning. Wink. And I wake up early, so that complicates things. I do the slow as humanly possible roll over as not to wake the sleeping beauty. But she inevitably is concerned that I am leaving without saying goodbye, or getting up to snoop around her house while she is asleep. You know, shuffle through her mail, go through her drawers, check her cell phone. Then, I tip-toe in the dark to the restroom, tripping over random shoes, and dirty laundry baskets along the way. Alright, I see this blog is going somewhere I don't want it to go. But as all this is happening I am stressing about the bathroom proximity, the elapsed time, the decibel level, just the thought of them knowing exactly what it is that I am doing in there. It's all very embarrassing and amusing to me all at once. But, it's all a part of growing up. Then there is that moment when you creep back into the bedroom... slide under the covers while trying carefully not to make much noise. "Everything alright?" "yeah, everything's fine, just had to go to the bathroom" "you were gone a while" "yeah..." No wonder I am single. I am a disgrace to myself. I gotta say I'm pretty happy with that sketch though. Looks more like my house than any girls house I've ever been in unfortunately. (protecting the innocent I guess)


There is a new karate place opening up down the street from my house. I noticed the other night that the perennially failing location was all lit up and noticed that a karate school was taking its place. I think it might actually work in that location. And by might actually work, I really mean last maybe a year. I feel like karate schools only really last a year or so anyway so that would be an eternity. But it has the right ingredients, my town is walkable for most little kids, and there are lots of little kids looking to expend some energy. The only ingredient it doesn't have that I think is necessary for karate places, is an Asian sounding name. It can't be Collingswood Karate or John Kelly's Karate. It's gotta be something like Yi's or Lee's. Also what's up with karate schools' obsession with trophies? No other business has so many trophies in the windows besides trophy stores.

But I think the real reason why karate schools are unsuccessful is you never see anyone beat anyone elses ass using karate. When I was in grade school I knew a few kids who took karate classes, but they would always say that if their sensei found out they used karate to beat someone up that they would be kicked out of the school. So what's the point of learning a skill that you will never be able to use? I guess a career in MMA is plausible but highly unlikely. What's Ralph Macchio up to these days?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

get this kid a girlfriend

This poor kid hasn't been on a date in months. Talk him up. Forward this to your good-looking, fun, smart, funny, nice, and single, girl friends and get a reward. He's smart, funny, nice, fun, and good looking! He has a house, a job, a car, a masters degree, and a soft spot for brunettes. He can build things with his hands or with machines. He's an award winning architect. He's also very good at eating, and drinking and can probably bench press pretty close to his weight. Any takers out there? Apply within. I will take out all serious recommendations given by friends.

Friday, December 10, 2010


It's getting to be old news at this point, but it's still news nonetheless. I'm actually getting tired of reading about the saga that is 401 Race Street; a project I worked on for the better part of the last three years. Check it out though, it's cool to see your projects in the news. Or it's cool that they at least use my renderings when talking about it still, even though those are 3 years old at this point and the design has changed And just for fun, I will throw one more rendering into the mix just to confuse everyone. A never before seen rendering of one of my first initial concept ideas for the building. A gigantic three story curtain protecting the rooftop courtyard space from the bridge. How badass would that be if you had these gigantic curtains flapping around in the wind against the bridge a la Shigeru Ban with cafe space in the cobblestone alley alongside the bridge? It was nixed by the office in our in house crit but I still think it'd be awesome. click on the image to enlarge.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


I was walking down Walnut St. this afternoon, (for those of you who don't know, it's the street where my office is located. A main drag of sorts in the city) and this woman was handing out little fliers. I took one out of curiosity like I always do. It was for a psychic reading. Naturally I crumpled it up after I read the word "Psychic". How come these psychics don't use their powers to know that I was going to just throw that away in 2 seconds? If they were smart they would have watched me walk away and come running up and be like "I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO CRUMPLE THAT UP!" At least then their powers might have some credibility.
I didn't do a very good job on that sketch either, I know. I think she's got two sets of elbows. But upon closer inspection, it looks like she sees a snowman in her snowglobe. Gonna be a cold winter!

Whole grains

I'm not really sure what whole grains actually are. Like most people I only know that they are good for me and I should eat them. But I'm not sure how many whole grains there really are. Oats? Wheat? Barely? Probably a dozen more, but what about half grains? You don't hear much about those.

Friday, December 3, 2010


Thanks to my good friend Erica Clymer, my website is now up to date and runs faster than ever! Got some new things on there too. My 1220 project has been updated and I have a bunch of new sketches loaded under the new "fun stuff" category. Some new photos and some new furniture shots are in the works. So hopefully in the next few weeks you'll see even more great stuff. Also the competition page has been updated with the latest Atlantic City Holocaust Memorial Submission. Enjoy!


I try to not talk about controversial things in my blogs and I try to use appropriate language all of the time. But sometimes I can't resist. It annoys me when I hear stories like this one People taking the Christmas out of everything. I am all for inclusion, but I am also all for diversity. But it's especially annoying when we worry about the names of things. A Christmas tree has always been a Christmas tree. And it should always be a Christmas tree. There isn't even anything religious about a tree. No religious group or rights group should be mad that they don't have their own named tree. Nobody gets upset about Christmas Sales at the store. No one says, "i wish we had our own sale" To highlight the ridiculousness of all of this, I propose having a menorah renamed a Holiday Candelabra. The Star of David is going to be renamed the Star of Holidays.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Computer viruses

I always find it annoyingly amusing when I get a pop-up on my computer warning me that my PC is infected. Inevitably a bar slides across the page pretending to delete my hard-drive. Warnings pop up that my Windows is infected yadda yadda yadda. I don't even have a PC or Windows. But nonetheless I quickly try to close out of the window. But I first have to frantically determine whether I should press "ok" or "cancel" trying to decipher if it's a trick question or not. Do I click cancel and have it do nothing. Do I click ok and have it destroy my hard drive? Do I click the "X" to close the window? Is that a trick X?


I don't know about anybody else but if I stand in front of a microwave for more than ten seconds I get chills. I feel that breeze and automatically think radiation. Like when someone sneezes near you, you wait a second, hold your breath and then get the chills a little bit knowing that a whole load of bacteria just got in your general area. I feel the same way standing in front of the microwave as I count down the last 6 seconds of popcorn to pop.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Man, I feel like a man.

I don't have anything exceptionally funny to report, but that shouldn't be any different than usual. I just had a good weekend for a change. My TV is paid off, made some cash painting another neighbor's porch, so I finally had a weekend for myself for a change. Took the day off on Friday, went fishing with my buddy Kirb and caught a bunch of beasts. Saturday had some friends over, watched some football and ate some homemade meatball sandwiches. Went to a buddy and his girlfriend's apartment warming party in the city, Sunday played golf with my Pops and played pretty well, met Donald Trump. Had the whole family over for some fish dinner... Good weekend. Made me feel like a man doing man things, drinking beer, and providing for my family. Not really my own family, just felt good to be a provider...and a man. I mean will you look at that f-in fish?!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


I saw a pickup truck the other day with a "Git er done" decal on the back window. Nothing wrong with being a little redneck every once in awhile. I started to think about what that guy must be like. Woke up one morning and told his wife, "well, I've got a lot of things to do today, but first thing on my list...I'm gonna go down to the Pep Boys and get that "git er done" decal on my truck taken care of finally..." Musta felt pretty good about himself when he checked that off the ol' list. BOOM! DONE!

Bananas and String Cheese

I was thinking about bananas and string cheese recently. Not that I would eat them together necessarily. I was thinking of them on separate occasions. You know how you can eat a bad apple? Like, you take a bite thinking it will be all crisp and juicy and it winds up just being mealy and gross. Or you eat an orange thinking it will taste like an orange but it really is a juiceless pulpy disappointment. But bananas pretty much all taste the same. You can have an over ripe banana and a not-yet-ripe banana, but if it's in the sweet spot, it's pretty much a consistent fruit. Think about it.
And my thoughts on string cheese are as follows; It's only really good if it's very finely stringed. You can't really ever enjoy a string cheese fully. It's either perfectly stringy and you like it, but you wish there was three times as much of it, or you get greedy, and try take a bite of it, and a chunk of it just isn't the same as it being stringy. My thoughts would be to sell string cheese already finely pulled, but part of the appeal of string cheese is getting a really great pull yourself. Plus, shredded mozzarella cheese isn't really that good as it is by itself.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Shameless self promotion

I got a mention in one of my favorite blogs! I exist! The Brownstoner is a blog that gives the inside scoop on development/real estate/architectural happenings in Philly. A few days ago the blog called on local architects to submit a quick lunchtime sketch of what they would do with the new underground gallery space Frank Gehry is designing for the Philadelphia Museum of Art since no renderings have been released. So I did a quick 20 second sketch and submitted it. I appreciated the kudos and the sarcasm in their post. No, seriously, I did. I guess my submission was a little tongue in cheek too but either way I got some props and was proud of it. So check it out.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

DJ Clue

I have no clue who DJ Clue is... but I do know that he pretty much wrecked every one of my favorite rap anthems in college. I'd be listening to my favorite JaRule song, and then 30 seconds in I'd hear CLUE! CLUE! CLUE! Nothing worse than downloading the same song ten times and every one of them ruined by clue. I guess that's what I get when I download JaRule songs.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Shoe Policy

Shoes are a tough thing for straight guys to buy these days. Maybe I'm shopping at the wrong places, but shoes are almost as hard to buy as jeans. I've needed a new pair of shoes for work for months but haven't found anything I've liked. Some are too square others too rounded, or they're so flat that it looks like you are a hobbit. Your choices are Eurotrash dbag, ultra-conservative 60 year old banker, or high school hipster. I just wanted some regular style boots for the winter. Finally, I went to DSW where they have hundreds of bad shoes to choose from, I was bound to find one pair that was acceptable. Found it.
Now I understand the no return policy. If you wear them, you can't return them. I get it. But they need to make one exception for returns. If you wear them, walk around in them for a day, and then realize that when you walk they make fart noises. It's especially noticeable in the office. And it's not an acceptable squeak either. It sounds pretty much like farts. To me, that is a defect in the shoe and can be proven to the store clerk for a refund. It'd be a good idea not to mention to the clerk that it squeaks even more if you happen to be laughing.

Monday, November 1, 2010

the gym.... again

The gym has been a constant source of entertainment for me. Who knew it could be so fun? Believe it or not I have a new found discipline. I've been going at least 3 times a week, but admittedly it's been getting harder since it's darker and colder in the mornings. I even went after work last week but I hate going after work. It's more crowded, smells bad, and I mean really bad, unbearably bad and the last thing I want to do after work is go to the gym. (one huge dude smelled so bad, I did a whole set of exercises holding my breath. I actually had to leave after 2 exercises. It was worse than a middle school locker room after a hoagie sale.) But that's not the point. I have been thinking about this for a while now and today I solidified my thoughts on this. I went to the gym at lunch (see, I told you, I'm disciplined) to see if a lunch time routine would work for me in the winter months. Plus I just needed a change of scenery. I was getting tired of seeing the same 3 ugly people every morning. Every time I see a trainer at the gym training a woman though, I get angry. These poor vulnerable women. These dudes aren't training, they're borderline raping. "Here, now do this exercise while I stand behind you and watch. Better yet, let's go on the mat where I'll flirt with and stretch your legs in ways no stranger should ever touch you." The most unfortunate part, I think most of these women are liking it.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Over the last three or four weeks I've encountered some serious bastards in the truest sense of the word. Two to be exact. Actual bastards. I am sure you still aren't understanding. Two actual bastards, like kids born out of wedlock. I was talking to a group of friends and was talking about one of the kids and said, "yeah, he's a bastard." And then there was a long pause. "No, literally, he's a bastard." I guess it's one of those words that isn't good even when it's used correctly. I guess there are a lot of bad words that aren't good even when used correctly, but bastard shouldn't be one of them. It's not the kids fault. It must be weird knowing all your life that you really are a bastard in the truest sense of the word. It's like an original sin that baptism can't wash away.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Career choices

I was never one of those kids growing up that said they wanted to be a fireman or a police officer or a doctor. Those are your typical jobs that kids say they want to be. All of them good, respectable jobs. I don't really like fighting crime or fires or putting my life in danger, so that rules out policeman and fireman. But I don't know why I never considered being a doctor. I'm not afraid of blood, I like helping people, and I like making a lot of money. I thought about what it must be like to be a doctor at the gym this morning when I was looking at the equipment to see how to do a particular exercise. You always see those "consult your physician" before performing this exercise stickers. It got me thinking how annoying it must be if doctors actually got those phone calls. No one would ever want to be a doctor. "Hey doc. Sorry to bother you, but I am about to do this cable cross thing at the gym. You think I can handle it?" "Hey doc, yeah it's me again. No I am fine. It's just that I got this girl over and there's a good chance that we could... you know. Do it. Just making sure if it's okay for me to pop this Viagra. And uh, yeah, do I need to call you next time? It might be in the morning if I am lucky." "Hey doc. Sorry this is the last time. Bout to go on this roller coaster." No wonder no one wants to be a general practitioner anymore.

Monday, October 4, 2010


I went out to San Diego this past weekend for a good friend of mines wedding. Everything about it was beautiful, the bride and groom were beautiful, the weather, ceremony.... all of it absolutely amazing. Unfortunately I was having one of those nights when no matter how much I had been drinking, I wasn't getting a buzz on. Naturally, it hit me all at once at the end of the evening. Not something I am proud of. But it reminded me that no matter how drunk I get, I always find my way home. And in my case, I not only find my way home, I always get undressed and in my bed, cell phone always plugged back in, wallet always on dresser. And that's when I thought about that footprints prayer. It was after I passed out that Jesus gave me a piggy back ride home. And then wrote on my face in magic marker. Psych, that part didn't happen.

Monday, September 27, 2010

work injury

The guy who sits next to me at work (you might remember him from earlier blogs as the guy who plays the trumpet)was telling me about how he hurt his knee recently. The guy is your average mid to late forty something. He's as active as a mid forty year old gets. Likes to play soccer in a mens league. Rides bikes. You get the idea. We were talking recently and he said he had hurt his knee and had an appointment to see the doctor. So naturally I ribbed him a little saying he was getting too old to play soccer and that he needed to take it easy. The funny part is, he didn't hurt his knee playing soccer. He hurt it on a business trip. And he probably goes on one business trip a year. As architects we aren't usually put in dangerous situations. Maybe we survey an abandon building every now and then, but nothing physically demanding. He tweaked his knee at the hotel... While sleeping. The story goes that the bedsheets were tucked in too tight. He slithered in from the top and went to sleep under the covers with his feet splayed out like a "T". You see where this is going... He tried to roll over and couldn't move his feet. Pulled something in his knee. Poor guy. Alone in the dark....Covers too tight. Busted Knee.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Half a marathon

Since this is my version of Facebook, I thought I'd do what other people do on Facebook; Post a picture of myself doing something cool and hope that someone I know, but never talk to sees it, and then thinks more highly of me because of it, and then still doesn't talk to me. With that being said, my sister and I ran a half marathon this past weekend. Considering I hadn't really altered my lifestyle all that much besides the running part, I was pretty proud of myself. I was still able to drink about 6-9 beers, three or four nights a week right up to the day of the race. No pre race routine. In fact, I think I performed better if I got drunk the night before a run. Needless to say, I ran the race (13.1 miles) in two hours and four minutes averaging nine and a half minute miles. Not bad for a first timer.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Garage Sales

Garage sales are awesome. But there's that moment when you realize you aren't interested in buying anything they've got and you feel kinda bad about it. The person sits there quietly as you judge their entire life. Old suitcase, teapots, figurines, toys with missing pieces. They embarrassingly lay out their last thirty years on a small patchwork of borrowed folding tables and old bedsheets as they watch you - in thirty seconds- come to the conclusion, that "These people are weird, and of this stuff is shit." I'm just going to quietly meander over the edge of the neighbors yard.... and quickly make my exit.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Things I can't avoid

Whenever I see an armored car parked somewhere, I immediately think heist and burglars. And I always kinda look to see where the flaws in their systems are. Like, "that guy is totally not paying attention," or "a gun can definitely fit in that little door hole."
Or if I see a stranger take the escalator, I'll take the stairs on purpose and race them to the top without them knowing they're in a race. Just trying to prove a point. But I'll act all cool and nonchalant like "oh yeah, that was my normal stair climbing speed.... just a little faster than the escalator. You should try it sometime." Just doing my part to fight diabetes.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Morbid thoughts

On my daily walk home from work, I pass a funeral home. And every time I pass by the funeral home, I notice a metal upside down overflow grate in the sidewalk sticking up. I always think to myself "man, I should really flip that over so no one trips on it" but I never flip it over. Then I wondered if the funeral home does this on purpose. I wondered if they secretly hoped that someone would trip and break their neck and die and contact them to have their funeral. Instant business. I am pretty sure no one can die by falling from this tiny grate, so I wasn't thinking too seriously about it. Then I was thinking how everyone wants to talk about the economy and how tough things are, and started to think about what that conversation would be like with a funeral director. I am pretty sure their business is pretty steady. Maybe the conversation is like "people aren't spending money on funerals these days. People want half as much embalming fluid and less makeup. They buy the tin coffin not the mahogany." But I wondered if they were ever hoping for a serious catastrophe. Like a bus full of senior citizens crashing on the way to the casinos. An uptick in business. Or do they just hope for steady business and no catastrophes? Or do they say stupid trivial things like "people are living a lot longer these days."

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


Like most men my age, I only own one suit. A black suit, pretty much suitable for every occasion warranting wearing a suit. Suits are remarkable, I have found that I can wear a suit, throw it on the floor when I am finished with it, hang it up, and in 5 months when I need to wear it again, it looks as good as new, completely wrinkle free and pressed. It's always an adventure trying to fit into the suit. It's got that clasp/button combo that I usually can't button and my belt just holds the ensemble together. This time, a different story. Fit into that sucker like it was senior year of high school.
But the funny thing about my suit is that it's like going back in time. I reach into the pockets and it's like three weddings and a few funeral. Funeral card, funeral card, napkin, beer cap beer cap.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Irrational Thinking

Last week while I was on vacation I didn't have anything really planned so I got in the mood to do some house cleaning. The weather wasn't too hot so I threw away a bunch of junk in my basement (almost broke both legs at the same time in the process but luckily I narrowly avoided doing that). Trash day was two days away but I wasn't going to be around so I had a ton of junk piled on my curb two days early. Piles of all kinds of random wood that I had been saving thinking I was going to make something really cool with. A gigantic old random box spring, bags of debris. As I'm piling this junk up on the curb, I get this stupid thought that the google map mobile is going to come and take a picture of my block and update their files. And here my house would be the only one with a ton of shit piled up in the front lawn. Which made me think of when the google map mobile actually did come down my block and snapped a picture of my neighbor going to his car. Wearing the same shirt he always wears when he is hanging around the house. We like giving him shit about that. But he's a pretty awesome dude. Gave me that 50 inch flat screen.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

50 incher

I'm not one for gadgets, I don't need the latest app or the best phone. But a neighbor of mine won a 50 inch flat screen tv through his work for being a top seller. He's not one for gadgets either so he propositioned me to do some housework in exchange for his new tv. (I obviously have amazing neighbors) How can I turn down a gigantic flat screen tv? Especially for free. I mean, nothing says success like a gigantic flat screen tv. At first I was a little nervous that a fifty inch tv would be too big for my place. I got over that in three seconds. I hooked it up, and five minutes later I was in love with a tv. I reset all my favorite channels to be in HD. I watched sportscenter and was reading the ticker at the bottom... all 4 inch tall letters. I paused to watch the credits of a movie because I could literally see every word. I even watched The Sisterhood Of the Traveling Pants because it came in so clear that I didn't want to change it. It's ridiculous.
But there are some drawbacks. I went to the Phillies game last night (I almost would have rather stayed at home and watched it on tv) and realized while I was at the McFadden's Bar in the ballpark that my tv was bigger than all the tv's they had there. I kinda felt bad about it. My tv is the tv you see at someone else's house and you say under your breath how ridiculous the size of it is, and how you would never get one that big. It's almost like how I would imagine it feels if you owned a Hummer.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Getting older

I literally got a little older last week. A decade older in fact. I Turned 30 years old on Monday and started to feel like it. I didn't have any new aches or pains, no grey hairs, no loss of memory, but it was something else that made me feel old. I was getting my haircut from a new person that has never cut my hair before a few blocks up the street from my house. Sat in the chair, and the guy asked me what we wanted to do. Naturally I don't really care or know how to describe it, but I just want the guy to cut it and not make me look like an idiot. So he starts snipping and not even ten seconds into the haircut he says, "and we're trimming your eyebrows today?". Which kinda caught me off guard. Now, I know my eyebrows aren't perfectly manscaped and I've even been known to yank out the really long ones before. So, I relented. But damn, one day over 30 and I already have to get my eyebrows trimmed. Luckily when I asked if my ears were okay he said they were. For the record, I don't think anyone is saying anything about Jake Gyllenhall's eyebrows.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

More Car stuff

Pretty much what sold me on my car is that it can A)get me from point A to point B, B)it had an ipod connection and C)I could work the radio from the steering wheel. Normally I could care less about working the radio from the steering wheel but anytime I drive in a car that has that option on the steering wheel I can't help but change the channel five hundred times and I like that. And, you can stealthily raise and lower the volume when someone else is in the car. It's especially useful in my car now since the volume control might as well be next to the passenger side door. I realize it was initially designed as a safety feature so the driver wouldn't have to take their eyes off the road fiddling with radio, but in my short experience using the controls on the steering wheel, I've noticed I always insist on continuing to change the station while I am in the act of turning. Doubly dangerous. Meanwhile my other hand is turning the wheel on the ipod since the steering controls don't work for the ipod.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Flying phenomena

I am a pretty observant person. Observant of people's mannerisms, observant of my surroundings, and all kinds of other quirks. I recently traveled to Mississippi to meet my sister who was taking a class down there for a few weeks. I flew down there so we could drive back up to Philly together. I don't fly much but I noticed a weird phenomenon. I think people really like tomato juice on planes. I don't see people drinking tomato juice very often outside of planes. Nobody is going to a restaurant and asking for a tall glass of V-8. I mean I drink V8s at home, and I know a few other people who do, but I always see people requesting tomato juice on planes. I wonder why that is? Ginger ale is another one.
Another observation; if you are traveling and you know you have to take your shoes off for security, why would you wear flip flops or sandals? I saw fifty people in the matter of 15 minutes take their shoes of and walk around barefoot on the same 15 foot stretch of floor. It was nasty. Think about that next time you fly.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Going Green

I'd actually thought of this for a while now, but my buddy reminded me of it again a few days ago. I'm not a skeptic of global warming, I am sure we as humans are doing some kind of damage to the environment, but I'm not a preacher either way. George Carlin said it best "the Earth is fine, it's the people that are fucked." But I like seeing those corporate emails with the little tags at the bottom of peoples' signatures reminding people to really think about not printing this email. And then you think about it, and print it anyway...and you go to the copy machine and see that there are two slices of paper sitting there. One is the email, and one contains nothing but "save a tree, think before printing this email."

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Apple stores

I really must be missing something with the grand openings of these Apple Stores. People line up a few hours, even a few days in advance, run through a row of genius's high fiving. Lots of fanfare. But for what? Last I checked the new stores are just like every other store. It's not like they are announcing a new product. Cool, you can come in, and uh.. buy a phone for 400 bucks. What's this world coming to when the most excitement people get is from lining up to get a new phone? Go to the Cherry Hill Mall. It's 15 minutes away. They have an Apple Store there that looks exactly the same as the one here. People didn't get that excited 25 years ago when they opened up a new Clover.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Twitter announces 20 billionth tweet.

I heard this weekend that Twitter celebrated their 20 billionth tweet. So, in summation it could be said that in the past few years, the world has said 20 billion ridiculously stupid things in 140 characters or less. I found an article talking about the 20 billionth tweet which may as well have been written by The Onion. I guess people were interested to see what the 20 billionth tweet actually was.
"The Twitter message was sent at 3:44pm GMT by "GGGGGGo_Lets_Go," a graphic designer in Tokyo who works at an advertising agency, according to the user profile. The message was part of a conversation that appeared to be a comment about a third party that had come online and onto Twitter."
And later the same guy posts, "It looks like I posted the 20 billionth tweet. I'm getting replies from people all over the world. It's scary. What are the chances? Maybe I'm going to die. Is it more amazing than winning the lottery? I thought it was a joke," he said in another Twitter message moments later.
Nah dude, you are still a loser and you are definitely going to die.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

I would do anything for love?

A couple of years ago I was thinking of that Meatloaf song I would do anything for love. It's one of those terrible catchy songs that you can't get out of your head. But it got me thinking about what it was that he wouldn't do. I would do anything for love.... but I won't do that. You know that line. I sent an email to an old coworker asking him what he thought Meatloaf wouldn't do for love. He pretty much hit the nail on the head with his answer, "go to the gym, or take a shower."

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Blind leading the blind?

The guy that sits next to me at work plays trumpet in a band. It's not like a band like Chicago or anything, but he plays in a big concert band playing stuff like Sousa marches and patriotic songs. Anyway, he was telling me that his band just got some new members, an older husband and wife duo. He said they are both really great players and that the wife who also plays the trumpet happens to be blind. So when they get new songs to play, she can't read the sheet music, but if she hears the song once or twice, she can figure out the notes and play the song back from memory. Pretty cool. So anyway, I guess he is in charge of distributing the sheet music, so he sends the woman the mp3. In his email he says whatever he needs to say and then asks me if it's wrong to close with "see you tomorrow". He decided not to go that route, but I thought it was probably fine, but still not worth making that oversight. Wow, that was a really bad unintentional pun. Anyway, he closed with "I hope this helps". She responded back with "Thanks Dave, See you tomorrow." Amazing.

Soy Sauce

I was eating some sushi with a friend of mine when I noticed him using low sodium soy sauce. I didn't really understand it. Isn't the whole point of soy sauce the sodium? Might as well call it sodium sauce.

Making Money

Lately I've been thinking of alternative ways of making money. I had a conversation with an old roommate of mine a year or two ago when the economy was reaaaalllly bad (not that it's not bad now) talking about what we would do if we got laid off. Understandably we were both pretty scared of that possibility, but we were thinking about what we were even good at that we could actually turn into a career. We both sat there and thought for a pretty long time in silence and couldn't really come up with anything good. I can't just be an accountant or be an analyst or work in communications, I don't know anything about any of those careers. Then my roommate said, "I know what I'm good at. I'm good at making bowls out of aluminum cans and breaking in hats." Somehow I don't think you can turn either of those things into lucrative careers but at least he was thinking. I came up with eating and drunk dialing. What I really want to do is invent some terribly stupid thing that just makes tons of money. Like the guy who invented silly bandz or pet rocks. Actually whoever came up with the idea of selling stars was the absolute smartest person in the world. I have a friend who actually bought his then fiance a star. I feel bad for him because he's actually a pretty smart guy.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Faded Jeans

I am pretty sure the faded jean fad is either over or on its way out. I've never personally been a fan of the look on men or women. In this day and age it's almost impossible for a heterosexual male to find a decent pair of good looking jeans that actually fit. I don't know how many times I've tried on jeans at different stores where I can't get the jeans past my thighs let alone button them around my waist. Then again, I am kind of a fat ass, but not that much fatter than most guys I know. I'm convinced you gotta be gay or asian to fit into most men's jeans these days. But I am always amazed when I see the really faded thighs on jeans. I mean the really faded jeans. I think to myself,"wow man, that chick had a musta had shit ton of people sitting on her lap."

Thursday, July 15, 2010


It occurred to me this past weekend that I had no clue what CCD stands for. Yeah it stands for being a good Catholic, and it was a chore that we all did every Sunday morning which wrecked our childhood weekends. So, I tried guessing what it stood for. Uhhhh,Catholic...Catechism...Department.. no that's not it. Uh Catholic, Communion, Doctrine. Errr, Christian, Church....fuuuhhh, how did I ever get confirmed? Pretty pathetic that I don't even know the name of something I had done every Sunday for nine years of my life. Even more pathetic that I had to do a Google search to figure out what it was... wiki answers tells me that it stands for The Cofraternity of Christian Doctrine. That was my next guess.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Bought a New Car

I don't drive much so I'm not really sure why I just bought a new car last weekend. I wasn't anticipating actually buying a car on Saturday, it kinda just happened. It got me thinking about being a car salesman. I think it would be pretty easy if you could get over the fact that no one trusts you or likes you. (reminds me of that classic Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry thinks he can sell cars)But I am pretty sure I could do it. So I got the whole rundown of all the features of the cars I looked at. I just don't understand why they feel the need to tell you every little detail. "A neat feature about the steering wheel is that it can go up and down and telescope out. Here you got your power windows which you can operate from the driver's side. AM/FM radio, CD player...on/off switch. tachometer, speedometer.. automatic locks right here. One touch power sunroof. Anti-lock breaks." So what you are telling me, is that it has all the same features that every car made in the last 10 years has? So how do you turn the radio on and off again? You push that on/off switch you were telling me about? That one right there in the middle? Now are you trying to say that as the driver, I can open and close every window in the car at the touch of a button? Amazing. After he explains the obvious to me, he wants to show me what's under the hood. The engine... which I couldn't give a F@*# about. Yup, there it is.. Some pistons, vtec, dual overhead cam. No clue what any of that means, and really don't need you to try to explain to me how it works. Combustion happens, pistons go up and down, car moves right? Don't need to tell me about it. "It's what they all use in Nascar" Yeah, I bet. I bet they use that Honda Civic engine in a race car.... probably a much better, more powerful, more expensive version. So not really that engine at all. All they really need to say is, "do you like this one? think you want to buy it? And... yeah it has an auxiliary jack for your ipod." SOLD.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Weather Forecasts

I'm not a big weather follower. I could care less about the weather usually. If it's going to rain it's going to rain, no sense in stressing about it. But occasionally I will go to I don't particularly like the 7 day forecasts, I am just used to 5 day. I can believe those. But what I really find amusing is that they have Golf forecasts.. Like the weather is different if you are golfing. "Ah, its going to be hot out tomorrow, but wait, let me see if it's going to be hot if I am golfing...Nope, gonna be great on the golf course." They have a pet forecast too. I was pretty intrigued by that one. You enter info about your dog, how big it is, if it's overweight, if it's old or not and then the zip code and it will tell you how happy your dog will be that day and what's the best time to walk them. Retarded if you ask me. People are idiots.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Something I thought I'd Never See

I was thinking about soap operas the other day and how ridiculous they are. I don't understand how they can still be on tv for thirty years straight without ever really changing the script. And I don't really know of anyone that still watches them. My sisters used to watch General Hospital after they got home from high school and my grandmom used to watch Days of our Lives (I think she still does but not religiously). But isn't always the same show every three weeks? Someone gets kidnapped, someone is trapped in some mountain ski lodge, there's an evil step mother, someone dies but they come back as a ghost. And it always amazed me that they were always super dressed up and never went outside during the day. It was always night time, and they were never actually doing anything. Never went to a grocery store, never dropped the kids off at soccer practice, always had a twinkle in their eyes. None of this prepared me for what I saw today. I was standing on the train and I happened to glance at what the woman sitting beside me was reading. She was reading three stapled sheets of computer pages from the "spoiler" page of the Young and the Restless. First, the obvious. Why would you ever need a spoiler page for that show? Second, it amazed me that she printed that out. Third, just the thought of her sneaking those prints from her office. Amazing. Oh wow... I just went to the spoiler page to see what it's all about. Dude, check out these lines. "Adam asks Sharon if she believes he didn't kill anyone. She becomes frustrated and leaves, running straight into Billy and Rafe. Rafe tells Adam he won't represent him. Sharon confides in Billy.
Mac tells JT she loves him!
Lily faints, but wakes up telling Neil and Cane that everything is going to be okay! I can't make this stuff up. I am pretty sure this same script could have been used 5 years ago, and five years from now.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

More self promotion

It's going on three years now, but this project I've been working on at my office may be getting some legs. Or it may be a hoax. It's a competition for a mixed use (hotel, restaurants,retail and possibly residential) on Independence Mall in Philadelphia right at the base of the Ben Franklin Bridge. It's a great location for this type of project. Our submission recently got mentioned on this blog. Hopefully the comments will be positive.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Texting vs. Status updates

I used to be way more into Facebook. Like I was addicted to it, just like everyone else I know. Went cold turkey for a little over a month and I didn't really miss it. Then went back to it just because it's a good way to share pictures more than anything. I rarely do status updates just because I really think they are just a way for someone to either take a cheap shot at someone, or just say the most retarded inane things that no one really cares about. Admittedly some of my good friends are pretty good at saying stupid things that I actually find amusing in their status updates, but 90 percent of status updates are terrible. This is not new news. Everyone pretty much agrees that most status updates are complete bullshit. But I realized yesterday that when I text my friends, it's usually nothing more than a targeted status update. Granted some are useful, like "where are you?" "you want to get a drink after work?" but a lot of them are like "dude, there are a lot of hot chicks out on walnut st." or "not that hungover". I guess texting is just a way of sending a status update that won't seem that retarded to the person receiving it. Maybe I am wrong.

Friday, June 25, 2010


I'm not a fisherman, but I love fishing when I do go. The hard part for me is finding friends that actually want to go out in the ocean to fish. All my friends have motion sickness problems. Yesterday I became more of a man and finally bought a fishing rod and got my fishing license and trout stamp to fish in New Jersey. Like I said, I don't really know much about fishing at all so I didn't know what it took to get a license. Maybe I need to know the rules like, if it's under ten inches you've gotta throw it back, or trout are protected fish so you can't catch them, or maybe no fishing after a certain month or whatever. You get the idea. I would have liked it if they told me what kind of bait catches what kind of fish or how to tie different kinds of knots. Should I use a bobber? Do trout like those rubber gummy worms? Are there even trout in New Jersey? Do I want my bait to spin? Nope none of that is covered. You know what you need to do to get a license in New Jersey? You need to have a drivers license and not owe child support. Literally the requirements were to fill out a 4 question survey asking if you A)pay child support B)are in default of any child support payments C)if the state knows you owe child support. I guess a lot of dead beat dads like to fish. I would have thought dead beat dads liked to go fishing with their sons though. I almost feel like dead beat dads should get a free pass so they can spend some time fishing with their sons. A better requirement would be, "if you get this license, you are required to take your son fishing at least 4 times this year"

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Atlantic City Holocaust Memorial Competition

A few months ago, a colleague of mine from the office and I participated in a design competition for a Holocaust memorial on the Atlantic City boardwalk. It was a long, arduous process, but we both got a lot out of it. It was even longer to hear back the results. But for a solid two months this winter, Blake Krevolin and I worked tirelessly on our submission. Today we found out that of the 700 some submissions from around the world, ours was unfortunately not chosen as a top 12 finalist. The jury had some big guns on it too, Richard Meier and Daniel Liebskind to name a few, so we can't be too disappointed. Here is our final submission. (there's a lot more symbolism to it than the 200 words allowed) but we consciously made no overt symbols referencing the Holocaust.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

is this wrong?

So for those of you who aren't really familiar with where I work, I work in a neighborhood classified as the Gayborhood in Philadelphia. It's really not a bad place. I think my particular intersection is the crossroads of freaks, trannies, and other interesting sights. More about that another time. Lets just say that I have probably seen more ambiguous trannies in one year than most people see in three lifetimes. Always an adventure. Today's photo from my office window depicts a man who happens to be down on his luck, (not sure if you can read the sign in the picture) but he's celebrating his 22nd birthday, and he's just looking for a decent meal and some clean clothes. He's got nothing. Would it be so wrong if I bought him a mylar ballon saying happy birthday? Just imagine the sad photo it would make. Funny in a sick way.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Shameless Self Promotion

I try to keep my blog consistent. Consistently random stupid stuff. So in keeping with my random stupid stuff rules, I gotta promote myself a little here. I got my bedroom closet on a pretty cool Ikea Hacker website. The website basically is for people who use off the shelf Ikea stuff in atypical ways. Some of the stuff is good, some terrible. Check it out.