Thursday, July 29, 2010

I would do anything for love?

A couple of years ago I was thinking of that Meatloaf song I would do anything for love. It's one of those terrible catchy songs that you can't get out of your head. But it got me thinking about what it was that he wouldn't do. I would do anything for love.... but I won't do that. You know that line. I sent an email to an old coworker asking him what he thought Meatloaf wouldn't do for love. He pretty much hit the nail on the head with his answer, "go to the gym, or take a shower."

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Blind leading the blind?

The guy that sits next to me at work plays trumpet in a band. It's not like a band like Chicago or anything, but he plays in a big concert band playing stuff like Sousa marches and patriotic songs. Anyway, he was telling me that his band just got some new members, an older husband and wife duo. He said they are both really great players and that the wife who also plays the trumpet happens to be blind. So when they get new songs to play, she can't read the sheet music, but if she hears the song once or twice, she can figure out the notes and play the song back from memory. Pretty cool. So anyway, I guess he is in charge of distributing the sheet music, so he sends the woman the mp3. In his email he says whatever he needs to say and then asks me if it's wrong to close with "see you tomorrow". He decided not to go that route, but I thought it was probably fine, but still not worth making that oversight. Wow, that was a really bad unintentional pun. Anyway, he closed with "I hope this helps". She responded back with "Thanks Dave, See you tomorrow." Amazing.

Soy Sauce

I was eating some sushi with a friend of mine when I noticed him using low sodium soy sauce. I didn't really understand it. Isn't the whole point of soy sauce the sodium? Might as well call it sodium sauce.

Making Money

Lately I've been thinking of alternative ways of making money. I had a conversation with an old roommate of mine a year or two ago when the economy was reaaaalllly bad (not that it's not bad now) talking about what we would do if we got laid off. Understandably we were both pretty scared of that possibility, but we were thinking about what we were even good at that we could actually turn into a career. We both sat there and thought for a pretty long time in silence and couldn't really come up with anything good. I can't just be an accountant or be an analyst or work in communications, I don't know anything about any of those careers. Then my roommate said, "I know what I'm good at. I'm good at making bowls out of aluminum cans and breaking in hats." Somehow I don't think you can turn either of those things into lucrative careers but at least he was thinking. I came up with eating and drunk dialing. What I really want to do is invent some terribly stupid thing that just makes tons of money. Like the guy who invented silly bandz or pet rocks. Actually whoever came up with the idea of selling stars was the absolute smartest person in the world. I have a friend who actually bought his then fiance a star. I feel bad for him because he's actually a pretty smart guy.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Faded Jeans

I am pretty sure the faded jean fad is either over or on its way out. I've never personally been a fan of the look on men or women. In this day and age it's almost impossible for a heterosexual male to find a decent pair of good looking jeans that actually fit. I don't know how many times I've tried on jeans at different stores where I can't get the jeans past my thighs let alone button them around my waist. Then again, I am kind of a fat ass, but not that much fatter than most guys I know. I'm convinced you gotta be gay or asian to fit into most men's jeans these days. But I am always amazed when I see the really faded thighs on jeans. I mean the really faded jeans. I think to myself,"wow man, that chick had a musta had shit ton of people sitting on her lap."

Thursday, July 15, 2010


It occurred to me this past weekend that I had no clue what CCD stands for. Yeah it stands for being a good Catholic, and it was a chore that we all did every Sunday morning which wrecked our childhood weekends. So, I tried guessing what it stood for. Uhhhh,Catholic...Catechism...Department.. no that's not it. Uh Catholic, Communion, Doctrine. Errr, Christian, Church....fuuuhhh, how did I ever get confirmed? Pretty pathetic that I don't even know the name of something I had done every Sunday for nine years of my life. Even more pathetic that I had to do a Google search to figure out what it was... wiki answers tells me that it stands for The Cofraternity of Christian Doctrine. That was my next guess.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Bought a New Car

I don't drive much so I'm not really sure why I just bought a new car last weekend. I wasn't anticipating actually buying a car on Saturday, it kinda just happened. It got me thinking about being a car salesman. I think it would be pretty easy if you could get over the fact that no one trusts you or likes you. (reminds me of that classic Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry thinks he can sell cars)But I am pretty sure I could do it. So I got the whole rundown of all the features of the cars I looked at. I just don't understand why they feel the need to tell you every little detail. "A neat feature about the steering wheel is that it can go up and down and telescope out. Here you got your power windows which you can operate from the driver's side. AM/FM radio, CD player...on/off switch. tachometer, speedometer.. automatic locks right here. One touch power sunroof. Anti-lock breaks." So what you are telling me, is that it has all the same features that every car made in the last 10 years has? So how do you turn the radio on and off again? You push that on/off switch you were telling me about? That one right there in the middle? Now are you trying to say that as the driver, I can open and close every window in the car at the touch of a button? Amazing. After he explains the obvious to me, he wants to show me what's under the hood. The engine... which I couldn't give a F@*# about. Yup, there it is.. Some pistons, vtec, dual overhead cam. No clue what any of that means, and really don't need you to try to explain to me how it works. Combustion happens, pistons go up and down, car moves right? Don't need to tell me about it. "It's what they all use in Nascar" Yeah, I bet. I bet they use that Honda Civic engine in a race car.... probably a much better, more powerful, more expensive version. So not really that engine at all. All they really need to say is, "do you like this one? think you want to buy it? And... yeah it has an auxiliary jack for your ipod." SOLD.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Weather Forecasts

I'm not a big weather follower. I could care less about the weather usually. If it's going to rain it's going to rain, no sense in stressing about it. But occasionally I will go to I don't particularly like the 7 day forecasts, I am just used to 5 day. I can believe those. But what I really find amusing is that they have Golf forecasts.. Like the weather is different if you are golfing. "Ah, its going to be hot out tomorrow, but wait, let me see if it's going to be hot if I am golfing...Nope, gonna be great on the golf course." They have a pet forecast too. I was pretty intrigued by that one. You enter info about your dog, how big it is, if it's overweight, if it's old or not and then the zip code and it will tell you how happy your dog will be that day and what's the best time to walk them. Retarded if you ask me. People are idiots.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Something I thought I'd Never See

I was thinking about soap operas the other day and how ridiculous they are. I don't understand how they can still be on tv for thirty years straight without ever really changing the script. And I don't really know of anyone that still watches them. My sisters used to watch General Hospital after they got home from high school and my grandmom used to watch Days of our Lives (I think she still does but not religiously). But isn't always the same show every three weeks? Someone gets kidnapped, someone is trapped in some mountain ski lodge, there's an evil step mother, someone dies but they come back as a ghost. And it always amazed me that they were always super dressed up and never went outside during the day. It was always night time, and they were never actually doing anything. Never went to a grocery store, never dropped the kids off at soccer practice, always had a twinkle in their eyes. None of this prepared me for what I saw today. I was standing on the train and I happened to glance at what the woman sitting beside me was reading. She was reading three stapled sheets of computer pages from the "spoiler" page of the Young and the Restless. First, the obvious. Why would you ever need a spoiler page for that show? Second, it amazed me that she printed that out. Third, just the thought of her sneaking those prints from her office. Amazing. Oh wow... I just went to the spoiler page to see what it's all about. Dude, check out these lines. "Adam asks Sharon if she believes he didn't kill anyone. She becomes frustrated and leaves, running straight into Billy and Rafe. Rafe tells Adam he won't represent him. Sharon confides in Billy.
Mac tells JT she loves him!
Lily faints, but wakes up telling Neil and Cane that everything is going to be okay! I can't make this stuff up. I am pretty sure this same script could have been used 5 years ago, and five years from now.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

More self promotion

It's going on three years now, but this project I've been working on at my office may be getting some legs. Or it may be a hoax. It's a competition for a mixed use (hotel, restaurants,retail and possibly residential) on Independence Mall in Philadelphia right at the base of the Ben Franklin Bridge. It's a great location for this type of project. Our submission recently got mentioned on this blog. Hopefully the comments will be positive.