Monday, January 31, 2011

New word

So I was watching Jersey Shore this weekend (yes, I admittedly find it exceptionally entertaining)and I came to the conclusion that there needs to be a newly minted word for "snuggle". Girls can use this word at any time with no repercussions. It's cute, it makes them feel all warm and fuzzy... and they aren't embarrassed to admit they like to do it. But guys, can't really say "snuggle" without consequence. They can't tell another guy they just hung out and "snuggled" with a girl. They can't even tell the girl they are with that they enjoy snuggling with them without sounding like a fool. So there needs to be a new word for guys to say in place of snuggle that means snuggle but isn't snuggle. Snoggle. That's my first attempt.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

An old thought

It's been proven that children learn things very quickly at a young age. Children are now being taught foreign languages at the same time they are learning to speak English. It's great. I still think it's weird that one of the first things we teach children in school though, is to stop drop and roll if they catch on fire. I mean, I guess if I was never taught that at a young age I wouldn't know what to do if I caught on fire. But did someone really figure out that that was the best way to put out a fire on your body? Going nuts and running around like crazy yelling "I'm on F-ing fire! I'm Burning!! FUUUUQKKK!" isn't an effective means of extinguishing a fire? Calmly stopping, dropping to the floor and rolling is a lot better? "Kids, today we are going to learn something that you will probably never have to use ever in your life. As likely as winning the lottery or getting struck by lightning, yet still imperative that this is one of the first things you will ever learn. Are you ready for this? It's what to do in case you are on fire." And feel free to print out this picture and color it in.

Monday, January 24, 2011


I tried sending a friend of mine a funny video clip from the first episode of season three of Tosh.0.... If you haven't seen it, you really should. I think it might have been the funniest half hour of television I have seen in...oh, at least the last year. It got bounced back because his computer administrator blocks sites that could be humorous or contain jokes. I am surprised it doesn't block all my emails to him. They're all funny. Man, I would hate to work at a place that didn't allow humor. What a joke company! ba-dum ching!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The newly coined phrase

I just want to take credit for this saying before it becomes huge... I came up with this beauty a few months ago when my friend got his new cellphone. He just got the new droid and we were driving somewhere in the city and he kept trying to text; and if you don't know already, it's a lot harder to text and drive (not a good idea by the way) with the touch screens. Your fingers can't just feel their way through the buttons. You actually have to look at the damn thing to type anything. So as he swerved all over... just saying man, "don't Droid and Drive."

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Martin Luther King

I really think it's great that people take some time and do some community service on Martin Luther King Day. It's sort of like Thanksgiving; one of those holidays where the meaning isn't skewed by candy, presents, or Hallmark cards. And I'm sure Dr. King would be glad to know that people are honoring his legacy by doing some hard work for less fortunate people and championing their causes. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like all anyone does on MLK day anymore is repaint daycare centers from one bad color to another different bad color. Or maybe sweep some city street. I think the new initiative should be a little bit more ambitious.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Holidays

I was reading an article a few weeks ago in the paper about single people and holidays. The writer was a thirty-something woman who was lamenting about how hard it was to be single during the holidays and how relatives and family would inevitably question why she was single, or when she was going to bring someone home for the holidays and so on. I mean, I can see how that could be annoying. I've been in that same situation many times myself. Almost every Christmas of my life now that I think of it. But, I was never embarrassed or ashamed of myself. I'd just tell them I was looking.

To me, the far more awkward and uncomfortable thing is actually having a "sorta" girlfriend during the holidays. Like you've dated a couple months, but the verdict is still out on her. You kinda like her but not enough to get a million questions asked about your relationship during Christmas from the aunt and uncle you only see a few times a year. And you aren't sure if you want to subject her to your family's interrogation tactics, temper tantrums and holiday blow ups...or if you are like me, after a holiday dinner, you kinda just want to fall asleep somewhere and not socialize with the random family friends that someone invited in the final hour unbeknownst to you.

And that's just the half of it. It's all awkward between you and the girl. Do I go to her house? Do I ask her to come to my house? Do I have to tell my mom I am not going to be with our family this year because I am going to go to this girls house that she doesn't even know about that I only really started hanging out with two months ago? Do I really want to meet this girls family yet? Does she even want to meet my family? If we don't go to each others family's house and do our own thing, does she think that I don't like her?

I'd much rather deflect the "me being single" conversation, than have to deal with the "so this is your giiiiirrrllfrrrieeeenddd?"(cue the sarcastic voice) conversation all night long... and maybe even into the next holiday. "What happened to that girl you were dating last Christmas?...she was so cute?" "oh her, I don't know. She dumped me. And that was two years ago by the way."