Wednesday, August 29, 2012

E'er body in the club gettin' tipsy...

For being a rap song this is pretty tame.  If e'er body in the club's gettin' tipsy, it's a pretty lame ass bar... they just got a little tipsy and then they left... didn't want to drive home all dirty... had a big meeting in the morning.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Sir Lance A lot

Although some of my blogs are topical, most of them are just random musings of mine. This one is more topical.  Often I think I have a good point in the blogs I write.  (full disclosure, I write this blog for the three people that I think might be reading it) But the recent news you hear about Lance Armstrong is just silly.  Why we put athletes on pedestals or why we hold politicians to such a high standard is beyond me.  Yeah, when I was a kid I was obsessed with Lenny Dykstra. He was a seriously flawed individual and definitely not a role model.  Maybe sometimes I emulated him, but I never thought he was a necessarily good role model.  He chewed tobacco, he ate "magic vitamins" which were really steroids, he drove fast cars drunk, and he probably slept around a lot and blew all of his money on much worse.  But I didn't like him for those things. I accepted him for his flaws. I just wanted to play baseball like him; steal bases, get hits in the clutch after fouling off a dozen pitches, make diving catches slamming into the outfield wall.  Those were the reasons why I loved him... and the fact that he just didn't care what anyone thought about him.  He even had a tougher time after baseball.
    So back to Lance Armstrong.  Sure, he probably did "cheat", and I am sure 100 percent of everyone else he ever rode against in the Tour de France cheated as well.  That doesnt make it right, but maybe it levels the playing field.  I am not being cynical, I really think 90 percent of all athletes anymore are taking some kind of performance enhancing something or other, whether it's Cortisone shots, Creatine shakes, or some other kind of drug we've never heard of.  It's the nature of sports. Always has been and always will be.  I think if there was a performance enhancing drug for accounting or a performance enhancing drug for some other bullshit desk job people would take them all the time.  If it was the difference of making 30,000 bucks a year and a 300,000 bucks a year we'd all consider doing it. Our performance enhancing drugs are recreational.
The funny parts of this though, that recently people think they can just erase the past. Like actual events.  If they say it didn't happen, it didn't happen.  Just like Joe Paterno didn't really win all those games he really won.  Lance Armstrong didn't really win those 7 Tour de Frances.... I didn't really draw those buildings that I drew the last few years.
And the worst part... he is banned from the sport.  Banned from bicycling... the sport of bicycling. can't ride a bike... in a race. Aw man.. But I bet he can still ride his "bike" really fast if he wants to. Not allowed to race his kids on his bike... If I were him I would train really hard, do as many performance enhancing drugs as I want to and ride my bike as fast as I wanted to. Downhill! With wind at my back! and a Titanium frame!.....with no clothes on! ...and a jet pack!
On a side note, I thought of Donnie Jeffcoat the other day... from Wild and Crazy kids.  Most random thought I ever thought.  I can't believe he was still in my memory bank somewhere.

Friday, August 17, 2012


I never really had any interest in karate in my entire life except maybe for the ten minutes after I saw Karate Kid part one when I was six.  I recall "karatying" a tree in my front yard pretending to be Ralph Macchio in training.  But other than those ten minutes, and every time I put on a bathrobe, I never give much thought to karate.  But the other day walking home from work I saw a mother and a few kids getting picked up from karate practice. A few of the kids (the couldn't have been more than seven years old) had black belts.  I couldn't help but think how they could have black belts. If I owned a karate shop, I'd just give out black belts to everyone.  I mean why not.  It obviously doesn't mean anything.  If a seven year old can achieve the highest award in your sport there's something wrong with that.  I am pretty sure I could beat that kid's ass if he wanted to fight me. I wouldn't feel good about beating up a seven year old but if he attacked me first... you know...just sayin.  Pretty sure I would win the fight with no prior training.  I'd be all like Howard Dean! hiiiyaaaahhhh!!!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Indian Food

I was enjoying a nice meal recently at an Indian restaurant and got to thinking about all the stigmas people have with Indian food. Everyone has an opinion about Indian food.  I personally enjoy it.  I personally enjoy all food actually.  But I was thinking about when people change a baby's diaper and they're all like, "ewww, it looks like Indian food!"   Those people first of all are ignorant.  But then it got me wondering... When Indian people change a diaper are they just like, "Hey, this looks like food."