Bachelor Parties

I went to a bachelor party this weekend and God are they exhausting! The best man rented a big 15 person cabin in the Poconos for a weekend of male bonding debauchery. Bachelor parties are more like "Lets' prove that we are MEN!" parties. Or "let's be neanderthals together!" So we spent a weekend of playing golf, smoking, drinking, shooting guns and eating terrible food around a campfire. And of course we went to a strip club. I am pretty sure that is every event to do to be considered a man. The only thing we didn't do was play football together or go fishing. After it was over, some of the guys were saying their goodbyes and said "ah man...too short, it was too short. I wish we had one more day." And I was thinking, God, I wish we had one less day. Don't get me wrong I had fun, I just can't handle all that for too long. I needed to get back in touch with my feminine side.
Speaking of feminine side- about the strip club... I hate going to strip clubs. I think the only time I went to a strip club under my own free will was the first time I ever went to a strip club. Never had a desire to go back to one after that. Strip clubs suck. Anyway, we went... and I gotta admit, sometimes they can be really funny. I am just thinking in my head, I hope one of these poor girls doesn't slide down that pole upside down and paralyze herself. That would just be tragic. And here I am giving this girl a dollar, and I'm being extra careful so that my bare hand doesn't touch her bare body accidentally, and my friends are putting dollar bills in their mouths so they can have their faces pressed up against their bare bodies. I kept thinking, there is no way I am going to risk my recently awarded clean bill of health by putting any kind of money in my mouth or near any stripper. Wasn't about to put my money where my mouth is...