Monday, February 1, 2010


I joined a gym last week (I know, weird right?) and I am proud to say that I've already gone three times! I just go and walk around and look at all the machines for an hour and go home. Nah, I've been easing myself back into a morning routine. Trying to lose thirty by thirty. I have a few months, so I might be able to do it. I think gyms are just funny in general. I can't go without laughing... laughing about the exercise, laughing about the really serious gym rats that are always there, the ugly woman with the good body that thinks it's because she doesn't have a good body that no man wants her. The squeezing, the grunting, the gas build ups, the guy who sqeaks out a fart while on the treadmill, and thinks no one heard it because his headphones were on. All those things are great, but I thought it was funny when the guy who was trying to sell the membership to us said "we have over 3,000 pounds of free weights" like it was some great selling point. "Oh wow, over three thousand pounds! Finally, a gym that can match my level of lifting abilities! That's great news! My last gym only had 1,500 pounds! This is a great improvement!" I would have rather heard him say, "We make sure the showers have soap in them." Yeah, it's twice now that I have gotten into the shower and realized there is no soap, and I've had to get out naked and run to another shower, squirt the soap in my hand and take it back to my shower...It's terrible.

1 comment:

  1. Good and funny read, bro. My former gym in Queens is THE place to be for Jersey Shore Wannabees!